It a bird! No, its a plane! No, Its a cascading tower of phalluses -YEAH!!

"What is that?!" you may be asking, as inquiring minds often want to know. Well, silly, its how we Koreans celebrate your 'celebration' (aka birthday) at the night club. Oh what a feast for the eyes, boys and girls. And what a special, special way to say to someone 'Happy Birthday, you are very special' 

   I am not sure how this all happened for besides the speed of the event itself I believe there were a few to a plethora of sojus pumping through my veins by this time. I know we were out at a club- yes, yes, I am sure of it. Surrounded by my boss and coworkers and the guest of honor- Heather Head Teacher, birthday girl. All of the sudden out of no where, it seemed like ten well dressed men in white coats and excessive ear phone pieces where surrounding our table. They were moving about us like trapeze artists, swinging in and dropping a tray of glasses here, another layer of glasses there. A few ajjosshis appeared in front of us and began to bend cloth napkins like they were making balloon animals. They were making penises!!! I was in speechless awe. This process was to beautiful for words. Each phallus was completed and flawlessly dropped on the glass tower in front of us. Finally the crown of the tower was made by who appeared to me be the head ajjosshi napkin phallus maker. This was the largest, biggest, king of all phalluses and placed at the top of her birthday tower. The music went off and the spotlights went on directed directly at Heather and her Tower 'o' Phalli. The DJ shouted something over the loudspeakers which I can only assume said something to the effect of  happy birthday to the foreigner. The whole club sang happy birthday and then the head ajjosshi grabbed the King Phallus and handed it to the birthday girl. He then with dancer-like prowess placed two tiny shot glasses on top of the tower. He took a bottle of sparkling something from under his arm, gave it a good shake, popped it open in a way the cork was never to have been found and then began to shower the entire bottle over the Penis tower in front of us. Ambery bubbles cascaded down the layers glassware  in front of us, it was like a magical penis fountain! He emptied the bottle with in seconds and then swept up the two shot glasses the sat full to the brim upon the top of the mighty tower. He handed one to the birthday girl and one to myself (I had the utmost privilege of sitting right next to Heather.) With the spotlights on us in an entirely otherwise dark night club, we locked arms as in the traditional marriage toast and we shot her birthday champagne. It was by far one of the best moments of my life. 

"Amy Teacher, do you need a knife for Christmas?" Shiloh asked.

   Shiloh is one of my more advanced students and she is preparing for immigration to the US very soon so she has many questions about America, the students there, and teenage culture. She is most excited about the American High school student workload which is only a fraction of what she would endure here. I had her to my house for a farewell dinner where we made chicken fajitas and she tried Mexican food for the first time. (Let me just say that in my experience Koreans are afraid of sour cream.) It is still interesting to me how this culture has no idea what a flour tortilla is, how to fold a burrito or pick at salsa like its something from outer space. 

 I gave Shiloh the opportunity to ask me anything about American culture. She asked me very candidly "Do American will find my face pleasing?" I showed her how to hold her knife and fork properly and put where to put your napkin. She seemed almost overwhelmed with the formalities which are quite involuntary to us. 

 Before Christmas I had Shiloh and a few students to my new apartment when I first moved in. As I was new to the place I was missing a few necessities, one of which was a cutting knife. As I pulled out the meat cleaver to chop my garlic, my students gasped in horror and Shiloh asked "Amy teacher, do you need a knife for Christmas?"  I giggled and said "sure.' A few weeks later Shiloh approached on our way to the mini mart for a few snacks. "Amy Teacher, my mother says that giving a knife to someone as a gift is very bad luck, so I cannot give you this gift." She was very nervous as she spoke and I found it quite endearing. "That's OK, Shiloh." I replied. She continued " But my Mother says that if you give me 1000 won than it is alright for me to give you the gift." (1000 won is equal to less than a dollar.) I stopped "Wait so if I give you 1000 won you can give me my present?" I asked "Yes." she replied with an awkward smile. "No problem." I said. 

   A few days before Christmas Shiloh arrived to class with a carefully wrapped box. I opened it to find, as expected, a shiny new knife. "Thank you." I said to Shiloh with a sly grin handing her 1 1000 won bill. It was the first time I had ever paid for a gift- but in the effort of avoiding what bad luck was awaiting me, it was well worth it. 

So as I said before we were on are way to Gyeongju . . .

Gyeongju, according to my sources, is the ancient Capitol city of Korea. The city is known as the self proclaimed "museum with out walls" And I have to say quite impressively, it was very much so museumesque in a walless way. We must have picked the most drippingly gorgeous fall color weekend to go to its surrounding temples for it was truly amazing. As we wandered up and down stone staircases and through wooden doorways, the trees were ablaze with colors of crimson, amber, and goldenrod. We quietly passed through what seemed to be a stillness of time and peace and place. We came across a rock wish garden and I was able to stack a wish myself- my anonymous but important mark in this holy place "Amy was Here".

   The picture of the hills seen here are actually ancient burial mounds for the kings of old Korea. These mounds are a bit of a technological mystery. They are constructed out of millions of smaller stones and rocks with the King placed ceremonial in the center of the mound. These mounds are gigantic and mathmatically perfect with symmetry extending from all angles. I would say these mounds to Korea what the pyramids are to Egypt. 

OK, OK Lets all click out heels three times together . . .

   Look! Here we are in late October! Isn't the web a magical place! I have to partly blame this time warp on the loss of my camera, which made procurement of images a little more complicated, but mostly it was shear decadent procrastination . . . . 

   After the Jinju lantern festival which was a crowded but beautiful event, grand finalled only by a firework display over the river which ignited a few giant floating paper animals and a couple riverbank brush fires. Lets just say I believe Koreans love their big fireworks in very close range. 

   A few weekends later my friend Carlye and I spent the weekend on the bus or also know as the trip to historical Gyeongju (which is not to be confused with Gwangju, or Kwangju). We made a pit stop in Busan for some Indian food. For those who are not aware Busan, is the second biggest city in Korea. It is sort of likened as the San Francisco of Korea (but those of us who heart SF would never say such a thing) Busan has one of the most popular beaches in Korea -Hyundae. During the summer it is packed to the brim with Koreans dressed for the beach in button up collared shirts and wide-brimmed straw hats that could double as grass umbrellas in most coastal communities.  But we were at the beach for Indian food [drooling Homer Simpson noise] It was the first time I had had ethnic food other than Korean since I moved to Korea. It was and I am so serious about this o-o-0- orgasmic! (I have to liken my gastronomical with drawls I have experienced over the past few months to what I can only surmise as 'taste bud foreplay'.)We sat in ornate wooden chairs and unfolded cloth napkins onto our laps. We ate with a fork and knife- an experience which seems rather foreign to me now. I dipped my buttery Naan into my saag paneer and I drank a cold beer in a stemmed glass! Sometimes its nice to get to transcend yourself out of Korea but just stepping into a restaurant every now and then.