Korean Kindergarten Easter Eggs- post hunt.

Bamboo Trees on the dog walk: Piearo, Floyd, and me.

Absolutely love this image on the advertisment posting boards . . .

My Pitcher Plant - it keeps the mogies away (mosquitos)

Flowers . . . ugh, they are sooo beautiful and they are EVERYWHERE!!

My Easter Eggs were made with permanent markers this year.

Jinna, Suzie, Jesus and I out to lunch at Cafe Mattieu.

Kindy trip continued through Spring in Suncheon Park Juk Do Bon

The Spring Kindy trip to the river through Suncheon

A parable of sorts from the wisdom and second language of a 9 year old . . . .

    I am quoting this, here it goes . . . . 

    "A man was lying in the sun pondering God. 

     He looked into the sky and said, "God, how much is a million dollars to you?" 

     God replied " A million dollars is like a penny to me."

     The man then said, "And God, how long is a million years to you?"  

     God replied, "A million years is like one minute to me."

     "God, " the man asked, "Can I have a penny?" 

   And God answered, "In one minute."  

Even Istanbul was once Constantinople . . .

In case you are wondering 119 is not an address. It is the number that one dials in case of an emergency, ya know like 911 only- backwards or is it America that dials it backwards? I have been in Korea long enough now that these distinctions are starting to blur. Where am I in this photo?? Well,  it is the cutest, smartest thing in Suncheon . . . Kiddie Traffic Fun Park!! Did you ever think those words would go together? Much to my surprise, it was all that it boasted and perhaps more. This miniature traffic themed romping ground brilliantly masqueraded life saving traffic safety for FUN! As we meandered through colorful and slightly informative dioramas and miniature working traffic lights, the traffic park seemed to me to be an essential part of a young Korean's life. It reminded me how I was taught about traffic safety when I was a kid so long ago . . . "Cross at the crosswalk, wait for the light, look both ways before you cross the street" . . . (can't you just hear your Mother's voice in your head) There is however a slightly different way to be safe when crossing the street in Korea- which I learned at Traffic Fun Park. You, of course, wait for the light. Once the light turns green you walk quickly and carefully across the street, but while crossing you must put your arm opposing to the flow of traffic straight in the air. Which means you must switch arms as you pass any median, which means if you are carrying anything you must switch hands with which you are carrying things and all the while keeping you eye out rogue drivers blowing through stop lights which happens frequently. This is a lot of work for a little kid trying to get to school on time! Shoot, I've been here for almost a year now and I still wait for a Korean to walk with across the street with me. It is that scary. YES it is. Korean drive like CRAZY people! It's a faster and me first driving mentality and people get hit and hurt and killed all the time by anxious, hurried drivers. Our tour through traffic land included a slightly disturbing cartoon on how to avoid being 'run over by speeding trucks ignoring red lights.'  There was also the 'don't stick your hands out the window of the bus' warning because they will get chopped off by a narrowing neighboring buses or trucks. Oh, and the 'look both ways before you get off the bus' warning as to not be pummeled by a motorcycle using the curb as his driving lane. All in all, I think I left traffic school learning as much as the children did. Now if I can just teach my dog how to cross the street with the right paw in the air . . . 

Unconventional Thanksgiving- belated report . .

Hold on to your seats everyone: Its the annual Thanksgiving show! (AKA English Pagent for our little kindergartners to show off to Mom and Pop just how much English they have been learning at the good ole NYE Academy.) As I was only peripherally involved (I did not teach kindy at this time) I was a thoroughly entertained spectator at the splendid surreal extravaganza of Konglish and costume change. At the end of the event our directors provided a promenade of what I can best equate to Thanksgiving Korean fusion- perhaps in the end, a mix best left in concept. It is however the first and probably not the last time I will eat my Thanksgiving dinner with chopsticks.

This is a collaborative drawing my students and I have done together mapping out Suncheon- the small town I live in.

              In the center you will find New York English Academy. (Click image to enlarge.)

And now for something barely relevant . . .

   Soooo . . .  as a part of my ongoing mission to bring English to the Korean masses 4 feet and under, I had this idea inspired by possibly the best teacher of all time Mr. Hill of Sylvania Southview High School- yes, that is a 'shout out'. Anyhow, Mr Hill, who taught American History, would offer his students and uber hard question in which to answer every semester, if they got it right he would give them an A for the class- the whole class: no final exam, no papers, no homework- just an A. The brilliant part of this idea is that the question was almost IMPOSSIBLE to answer and locating reasonable sources to answer such an impervious question required signifigant leg work. The alluring offer of a 'free A' would send dozens of juniors seniors to the library for hours scathing through stacks of history books in the search for their golden ticket. So, whilst you were looking for your 'eureka', unsuspecting students were taking in huge amounts of knowledge about the very topic they were trying so hard to avoid. It was accidental, perfect learning- a technique I have come to believe results in 100% success. Those students (which it was rare) which located the correct answer (I think only one student was awarded the 'free A' while I was attending Southview) found themselves to be a borderline American History expert by the end of the term. Like I said before, brilliant. 

    So I have implemented a similar task in my classroom. I ask a question and if answered correctly, students receive free homework passes. This has created quite a rage. You hear students whispering through the halls and as they wait for the buses asking each other about 'the question'. I am causing an 'English stir'! I am happy to see them get so excited about speaking this language they are forced to learn down the throat style. Above is a written response to one of my questions: "What color socks was Abraham Lincoln wearing when he was shot?" This was a question actually taken from my High School class- yikes 13 years ago!! I especially enjoy the illustration of Lincoln being assassinated.  (Please click on the picture above for a larger and much more enjoyable version- do it its worth it!)

It a bird! No, its a plane! No, Its a cascading tower of phalluses -YEAH!!

"What is that?!" you may be asking, as inquiring minds often want to know. Well, silly, its how we Koreans celebrate your 'celebration' (aka birthday) at the night club. Oh what a feast for the eyes, boys and girls. And what a special, special way to say to someone 'Happy Birthday, you are very special' 

   I am not sure how this all happened for besides the speed of the event itself I believe there were a few to a plethora of sojus pumping through my veins by this time. I know we were out at a club- yes, yes, I am sure of it. Surrounded by my boss and coworkers and the guest of honor- Heather Head Teacher, birthday girl. All of the sudden out of no where, it seemed like ten well dressed men in white coats and excessive ear phone pieces where surrounding our table. They were moving about us like trapeze artists, swinging in and dropping a tray of glasses here, another layer of glasses there. A few ajjosshis appeared in front of us and began to bend cloth napkins like they were making balloon animals. They were making penises!!! I was in speechless awe. This process was to beautiful for words. Each phallus was completed and flawlessly dropped on the glass tower in front of us. Finally the crown of the tower was made by who appeared to me be the head ajjosshi napkin phallus maker. This was the largest, biggest, king of all phalluses and placed at the top of her birthday tower. The music went off and the spotlights went on directed directly at Heather and her Tower 'o' Phalli. The DJ shouted something over the loudspeakers which I can only assume said something to the effect of  happy birthday to the foreigner. The whole club sang happy birthday and then the head ajjosshi grabbed the King Phallus and handed it to the birthday girl. He then with dancer-like prowess placed two tiny shot glasses on top of the tower. He took a bottle of sparkling something from under his arm, gave it a good shake, popped it open in a way the cork was never to have been found and then began to shower the entire bottle over the Penis tower in front of us. Ambery bubbles cascaded down the layers glassware  in front of us, it was like a magical penis fountain! He emptied the bottle with in seconds and then swept up the two shot glasses the sat full to the brim upon the top of the mighty tower. He handed one to the birthday girl and one to myself (I had the utmost privilege of sitting right next to Heather.) With the spotlights on us in an entirely otherwise dark night club, we locked arms as in the traditional marriage toast and we shot her birthday champagne. It was by far one of the best moments of my life. 

"Amy Teacher, do you need a knife for Christmas?" Shiloh asked.

   Shiloh is one of my more advanced students and she is preparing for immigration to the US very soon so she has many questions about America, the students there, and teenage culture. She is most excited about the American High school student workload which is only a fraction of what she would endure here. I had her to my house for a farewell dinner where we made chicken fajitas and she tried Mexican food for the first time. (Let me just say that in my experience Koreans are afraid of sour cream.) It is still interesting to me how this culture has no idea what a flour tortilla is, how to fold a burrito or pick at salsa like its something from outer space. 

 I gave Shiloh the opportunity to ask me anything about American culture. She asked me very candidly "Do American will find my face pleasing?" I showed her how to hold her knife and fork properly and put where to put your napkin. She seemed almost overwhelmed with the formalities which are quite involuntary to us. 

 Before Christmas I had Shiloh and a few students to my new apartment when I first moved in. As I was new to the place I was missing a few necessities, one of which was a cutting knife. As I pulled out the meat cleaver to chop my garlic, my students gasped in horror and Shiloh asked "Amy teacher, do you need a knife for Christmas?"  I giggled and said "sure.' A few weeks later Shiloh approached on our way to the mini mart for a few snacks. "Amy Teacher, my mother says that giving a knife to someone as a gift is very bad luck, so I cannot give you this gift." She was very nervous as she spoke and I found it quite endearing. "That's OK, Shiloh." I replied. She continued " But my Mother says that if you give me 1000 won than it is alright for me to give you the gift." (1000 won is equal to less than a dollar.) I stopped "Wait so if I give you 1000 won you can give me my present?" I asked "Yes." she replied with an awkward smile. "No problem." I said. 

   A few days before Christmas Shiloh arrived to class with a carefully wrapped box. I opened it to find, as expected, a shiny new knife. "Thank you." I said to Shiloh with a sly grin handing her 1 1000 won bill. It was the first time I had ever paid for a gift- but in the effort of avoiding what bad luck was awaiting me, it was well worth it. 

So as I said before we were on are way to Gyeongju . . .

Gyeongju, according to my sources, is the ancient Capitol city of Korea. The city is known as the self proclaimed "museum with out walls" And I have to say quite impressively, it was very much so museumesque in a walless way. We must have picked the most drippingly gorgeous fall color weekend to go to its surrounding temples for it was truly amazing. As we wandered up and down stone staircases and through wooden doorways, the trees were ablaze with colors of crimson, amber, and goldenrod. We quietly passed through what seemed to be a stillness of time and peace and place. We came across a rock wish garden and I was able to stack a wish myself- my anonymous but important mark in this holy place "Amy was Here".

   The picture of the hills seen here are actually ancient burial mounds for the kings of old Korea. These mounds are a bit of a technological mystery. They are constructed out of millions of smaller stones and rocks with the King placed ceremonial in the center of the mound. These mounds are gigantic and mathmatically perfect with symmetry extending from all angles. I would say these mounds to Korea what the pyramids are to Egypt. 

OK, OK Lets all click out heels three times together . . .

   Look! Here we are in late October! Isn't the web a magical place! I have to partly blame this time warp on the loss of my camera, which made procurement of images a little more complicated, but mostly it was shear decadent procrastination . . . . 

   After the Jinju lantern festival which was a crowded but beautiful event, grand finalled only by a firework display over the river which ignited a few giant floating paper animals and a couple riverbank brush fires. Lets just say I believe Koreans love their big fireworks in very close range. 

   A few weekends later my friend Carlye and I spent the weekend on the bus or also know as the trip to historical Gyeongju (which is not to be confused with Gwangju, or Kwangju). We made a pit stop in Busan for some Indian food. For those who are not aware Busan, is the second biggest city in Korea. It is sort of likened as the San Francisco of Korea (but those of us who heart SF would never say such a thing) Busan has one of the most popular beaches in Korea -Hyundae. During the summer it is packed to the brim with Koreans dressed for the beach in button up collared shirts and wide-brimmed straw hats that could double as grass umbrellas in most coastal communities.  But we were at the beach for Indian food [drooling Homer Simpson noise] It was the first time I had had ethnic food other than Korean since I moved to Korea. It was and I am so serious about this o-o-0- orgasmic! (I have to liken my gastronomical with drawls I have experienced over the past few months to what I can only surmise as 'taste bud foreplay'.)We sat in ornate wooden chairs and unfolded cloth napkins onto our laps. We ate with a fork and knife- an experience which seems rather foreign to me now. I dipped my buttery Naan into my saag paneer and I drank a cold beer in a stemmed glass! Sometimes its nice to get to transcend yourself out of Korea but just stepping into a restaurant every now and then. 

OK, I know, I know I am a very bad bad blogger . . .

    Autumn ??. ..  what happened. I swear a fell into a time warp over the last few months. Never fear my decicated reader, I have taken copious dutiful notes of remarkable happenings and even more pictures. 

Let me just say that the belated posting is really truly all Carlye's fault. 

 

 Today I declare that my blog and I after a little space are 'getting back together' so be forwarned my ridiculous and frequent ramblings are to begin again- 

but not today. I gotta go to Gwang-ju. 

Autumn has finally arrived in Suncheon!

I am still not sure if I'm 32 or 33 . . .?

  It all started around midnight- the beginning of my most important day. I was preparing to cozy up with my book, in my jammies, and be such a good girl (with a good night sleep so I would be busy-tailed for the next day) when there was a surprising knock at my door. (I have lived here for four months and my door has only been knocked on once, so this was quite startling.) I opened it to discover a couple of my near and dear friends equipped with flaming birthday cake and a backpack full of libations and about 9lbs of cheese. A few soju cocktails later and midnight soon turned into the wee hours of the morning, time seems to pass so effortlessly amongst the perfect balance of many hearty, fulfilling laughs and introspection. A rather unexpected trip to a undisclosed location which will only be described as  . . . . .  . 

  Well needless to say, the next morning came rather abruptly and I, having the unusual duty of teaching Kindergarten which meant I, still groggy from the unexpected excitement from the night before, found myself staring into the eyes of a dozen four year old Korean children. Class consisting of me saying things like "Color the Cat's belly yellow" and "Color the monkey's tail purple . . . "

      The day progressed into an endless promenade of birthday serenades from my grade school students (which always ended with a chorus of 'we love you' with arms above their heads in the shape of a heart) and various and random gifts from an orange to a hot pink colored pencil. Then there was the stack of cards - the cards!  All hand made on colorful paper and folded meticulously with tidings of health and happiness in broken konglish: "Teacher, you are butt-iful" and  "Happy Birthday Teacher. Sorry, I don't do presents."  

   With the finish of my last class, I strapped on my blue flame helmet and hopped on my scooter for a cool ride home. As I passed under the neon Hangul street signs, I took a deep breath with of the sensation of being officially one year older. It was by far one of the most surreal and meaningful moments this humble girl from Ohio has ever experienced. 

Jinju Lantern Festival- cont'd

Jinju Lantern festival : Formal, floating, and handmade wishes.

I'm so blogging this . .

Not sure if anyone is reading this anymore, but I will keep rambling all the same. So spontaneous trip to Gwangju, one of the larger cities in Korea. A couple expats and myself trying to find only the foreigner shop where they sell the prized possession of SOUR CREAM and perhaps a block of large and imported yellow cheese. All the meanwhile keeping are eye out for the secretive and infamous TATTOO shop. As we were doing our rounds, I saw it from across the street- the scrolling letters in neon red - T - A- T - T- O- O. Before I could blink we were climbing the three flights to a tiny studio that indeed was perhaps strange but true to its sign. My companion had been searching for such a shop for awhile for for those of you who do not know, tattoos are quite taboo in Korea. They are to such an extent unaccepted that you will see a plethora of television actors with strange bandages applied to their arms and legs in order to cover their "atrocities". No matter, she wanted a tattoo. So we climbed the ambiguous staircase passed the "twice fried" chicken house up the stairs to a small studio that promised tattoo service. The entrance was enshrouded in bamboo and  it was clear to us that we should remove our shoes before entering. (Yes. You must remove your shoes before entering a tattoo shop in Korea.)

     The walls were accessorized with various amazing and exquisite tattoo artistry. These images were so much more that tattoos, they were Art. The assistant made a call to the 'on call'tattoo artist, meanwhile helping us with the technical aspects of the tattoo: how big, what color; we used the Internet to complete the task. With out us realizing much time had passed a young Korean women appeared in the door way "I'm sorry I'm late" she said in perfect English. 

   This girl, hardly nineteen was going to imprint my companion forever and with out too much time passing she inquired " Do you know Amercian Idol?" "Why of course," we replied. "I was on it- season seven Chicago." she said as a matter of factly. "What? you were?" I surprisingly asked. " Yes " she said, " I made it through second audition." "What did you perform?" I inquired. She responded "Maria Carey and Alicia Keys." She lit a cigarette and held it so that the filter bent over in a way I had never seen a cigarette go flacid before. She flicked her ashes carelessly into a paper dixie cup.  Post cigarette, my companion reclined over a modest table and was being inked away. 

    Mariah Carey was playing in the background. Mid tattoo the girl who told us her name was 'So Young' (so serious) paused to answer her cellphone only to keep tattooing mid conversation! My friend pleaded causally "uhh maybe, no cellphone?" So Young seemed to not hear her words. Within less than an hour it was finished, done flawlessly with the skill of a veteran. Her tattoo: the Chinese character "Energy". The symbolism in this was almost overwhelming.